Understanding Grief

By Eva Teitelbaum, AMFT 145672

What is grief?

At its core, grief is loss. Many people think grief only happens when someone dies. While that can certainly be part of it, grief can come from many kinds of loss: relationships, life changes, health, dreams that didn’t unfold the way we hoped, and more.

Grief is deeply human.

One of the most important things I often share with clients who are grieving is this: it is okay to not be okay. Grief can bring many emotions such as sadness, anger, confusion, numbness, and even moments of relief. Whatever feelings arise, they are allowed.

You do not need to shame yourself for being human.

Instead, I invite you to offer yourself compassion for wherever you are on your grief journey.

I often compare grief to the ocean. Emotions can come in waves. Some waves are small and gentle, while others feel large and overwhelming. But like waves in the ocean, emotions move. They rise, and eventually they pass.

Sometimes the hardest part of grief is trying to fight the wave. The more we resist what we are feeling, the bigger the wave can seem.

Learning to gently ride the wave, allowing the emotion to come and go, can help us move through grief with a little more kindness toward ourselves.

And if you are grieving right now, please remember: you are not alone in the experience. Grief is one of the many ways our hearts show us how deeply we have loved.