Unpacking “I’m Not Good Enough”: A Recent Training That’s Shaping My Practice

By Eolyne Arnold, ASW 124435

The belief that no matter what we do, we are not worthy, deserving, lovable, successful... [fill in the blank], is actually a common “core belief” for so many people that the psychologist and originator of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Steven Hayes, referred to it as “universal” and “part of the human condition” (Welcome To: Working with Core Beliefs of “Never Good Enough” - NICABM, 2024).

From a very young age and throughout our lives the culture we grow up in, along with our life experiences and relationships, teaches us what makes us valuable and ultimately shapes core beliefs that influence how we view ourselves, others, and the world around us.

“I’m not good enough” shows up in different ways through perfectionism, self-doubt, procrastination, people-pleasing, and more! One thing this training helped me explore more was how social comparison or comparing yourself to others can quietly shape our behaviors and emotions, while loudly reinforcing “I’m not good enough”.

Consider advertisements promoting products with “before” and “after” images, or movies and tv shows reinforcing unrealistic beauty standards, or social media platforms presenting polished images of the “perfect life”. It’s easier to give in to the pressure of social comparison than it is to believe that we are simply enough as we are.

Most importantly, the training explored how to challenge “I’m not good enough”. Here are some things you can expect in our work together:

• Exploring when, where, and how “I’m not good enough” shows up in your daily life

• Supporting your journey toward deeper self-compassion and a (re)connection with your values.

• Using powerful, evidence-based tools to help you shift the thought patterns that often lead to “I’m not good enough”

If you are resonating with this blog, know that you are not alone and we can work through it together.

Keep showing up for yourself, you are worth it!

Eolyne Arnold, ASW